


Every Rose Has Its Thorns

by AlastorGrim



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Actually Even Sometimes Spinel, Adult Steven Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Apathetic Steven Universe, But He's Not On Their Side, Dom/sub Undertones, Evil Steven Universe, Except For Spinel, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Not Actually As Dark As It Looks, RIP the Diamonds, Sad Spinel, Smut, Spinel Has Panic Attacks, Steven Is Very Not Nice, The Diamonds Raised Steven, Unhealthy Relationships, caste systems, just read it you'll see, okay more like, warfare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-10-30 08:51:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20768849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlastorGrim/pseuds/AlastorGrim
Summary: Steven, raised as the perfect warrior for the Gem Empire, discovered that he was not just the child of Pink Diamond, but Rose Quartz. Before he could make any moves, however, the Earth and all its inhabitants were destroyed. Embittered by the knowledge of the life he could've had and the friends he could've known, Steven turns his ire upon the Diamonds themselves and sets out to dismantle their Empire from the inside, with the help of his band soldiers called the Off Colors. But who should he meet in his travels, but the last gem alive that can be tied back to his mother. Spinel is so, so lost and so, so precious. And Steven has no intention of letting her go.





	1. The Garden

**Author's Note:**

> Vaguely inspired by / based off of [this.](https://grimalkinmessor.tumblr.com/post/187947149797)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay before you yell at me, a few things: Steven is a grown ass man who grew up with the Diamonds, which led to him ultimately becoming very unempathetic because being raised by Gem overlords so obsessed with perfection that they try to rip out half of you will do that to a guy. He's not our happy go lucky Steven. So while he's not working with the Diamonds to destroy worlds, he also has no problem with shattering and/or kidnapping people for his own gain. That Evil!Steven tag is there for a reason.
> 
> This story exists because it's half character study and half self-indulgent Stevinel smut. Kinks galore, my friends. However that's not where the unhealthy relationship aspect comes from. Steven does not beat the shit out of Spinel or anything--not that kind of unhealthy. Spinel gets very attached to Steven very quickly, and he doesn't exactly discourage her. Quite the opposite, really. You could almost call it grooming, which is why I thought an additional warning was nessecary. Be safe you guys.
> 
> If none of the above squicks you, read on my darklings!

Bright magenta light cut through the dimness of the cabin as large, tanned hands skated lazily over the control panel. Pale pink irises shone out of a shadowed face, bored and slightly irritated. "Pearl."

The small, lavender shaded gem nearly lept from her post at the address. She managed to retain her dignity at the last second. "Y-Yes, my Diamond?"

A sneer pulled the corners of his mouth at the name. "What's the nearest Gem outpost? We've been flying for hours--it shouldn't have taken us this long to find another one. The Empire is massive."

The pearl swallowed harshly and shakily brought up the screens. "It looks like there's one nearby, but it appears to be abandoned. There's only one gem still residing on it, if my readings are correct."

Curious, Steven raised an eyebrow. "Give me the coordinates."

"Yes, my Diamond."

Numbers filled the view screen before him, and he hummed. "It could be another Off Color. Set a course for," He examined the info blurb a little closer. "The Garden. Whoever this gem is, they could prove useful to the mission."

"B-But, don't you think you have enough Off Colored soldiers? You even have that human you saved from Earth! I don't think the other Diamonds would appreciate--" the pearl cut herself off when hard eyes flashed her way. She went pale when he stood up, towering at a good three feet taller than her.

"This is not a game, Pearl. This is revenge on the Diamonds for filling my head with lies." He cupped a handful of his dark, broad curls gently in his palm, decorated with red, blue, purple, and white gem shards. "For taking away the life I could've led, away from their parasitic Empire. I'll never have enough soldiers until I've _won_ and White is in _pieces_ at my feet. So set the damn course, Pearl, before I decide that you're the one I've had enough of." Steven snapped.

"...Yes, my Diamond."

"Good." With that, he turned on heel and strode over to the hatch that led down to the communication room. "And set it to autopilot. I have some things to take care of."

He didn't wait for the pearl's response. Booted feet trekked down to the communication room and started up the largest view screen. "This is Steven, calling in to Starship 9. Captain, report."

A crackle of static, and then a familiar head of bubblegum pink hair appeared. Captain Lars gave him a customary salute. "My Diamond. The Off Colors and I have finished dispatching all the gems still present on the last outpost. The Agates gave us some trouble, and the core of the planet is more damaged than we thought, but otherwise the mission was a success."

Steven's lips quirked up, faintly pleased. "Wonderful. I'll send Lapis with the planet seed at once. Leave Rhodonite there to ensure it blooms and then meet me at the main base. Understood?"

"Affirmative, my Diamond." Lars dipped his head in a show of deference, then the screen went dark once more.

"X...23...U9," Steven murmured to himself as he set up a new call. The screen came alive again, this time submerged. "Lapis. The Off Colors have finished dismantling Outpost 47. I need you to drop off the seed for that planet and then stay with Rhodonite to ensure that it grows." He explained quickly.

Lapis tilted her head back so that he could see her face. She smirked at him and gave him a half salute. "On it, Steven."

Rolling his eyes, Steven cut the feed and exited the communication room to strap himself for the rest of the ride to the Garden. Whatever it was.

·🌺·

"We have arrived, my Diamond." Pearl intoned softly as their ship stopped just outside of the atmosphere.

"Is the Garden's warp still accessible?" Steven drawled as he pulled on his cape and strapped on his sword. He tugged his hair out from beneath the collar of the garment and took a brief moment to admire it. It was studded with gems of every shape, size, and color. Anyone he thought would prove useful later, once the Empire had been destroyed. And then there were the shards of the Crystal Gems speckled throughout, as reminders.

Reminders that he was not Pink Diamond, as he had been raised to believe, but Steven. That the Diamonds had lied to him. That the Diamonds had shattered the only people who could tell him things about her and be truthful.

When he had first arrived on Earth with Yellow ten years ago, he had gone with the knowledge that the Crystal Gems were in the Empire's way, had locked Pink Diamond into his own, weaker form, and refused to give up the Earth for gemkind. But once they'd seen him...they'd cried. Steven had been so startled by it, that he'd allowed them to speak before he shattered them. And then, after they had said their piece, he hadn't _wanted_ to shatter them.

So Yellow had done it for him.

Steven was the Empire's most feared warrior before he'd gone to Earth. And afterwards, he became its most feared terrorist. Not because of any sort of sense of justice. The Diamonds had taught him no justice. No. Steven wanted revenge.

He wanted revenge on the Diamonds. The bismuth he had tucked in his hair had called him a hypocrite for it. He didn't care.

"The warp pad has been severely damaged, my Diamond. I do not think it will carry a charge."

"I don't need one." He swept forward and stepped up onto the ship's inner hatch. When his pearl went to follow him, he held up a hand. "I'm going alone. If the gem residing here is an Off Color, they'll hide. I have a better chance coaxing them out by myself." Steven cocked an eyebrow when she pursed her lips in disagreement.

"Of course. Be safe, my Diamond." She said at length.

Steven hummed and pressed the button to open the hatch. A blush colored bubble popped into existence around him and allowed him to slowly float down to the planet (more of a platform) below. As his eyes roved over the approaching Garden, his brow furrowed in confusion. There wasn't any standard gem equipment anywhere, save for the dulled and cracked warp pad and crushed communication pod. There was plant life everywhere, curled up the scattered pillars that were still standing and twining all across the broken ground in dark greens and the occasional deep red. Steven's eyes narrowed.

His bubble touched the broken surface of the warp pad and disappeared. He stood atop it and looked out over the Garden, searching for any sign of life. The platform wasn't as large as some of the planets he had been on, not by a long shot, so there couldn't be many places for the gem residing here to hide.

Suddenly, something was launched at the side of his head. His honed reflexes allowed him to catch it before it could clock him in the eye, and he raised an eyebrow as he surveyed the hunk of rock in his fist.

"Who are you?" A voice hissed from the shadows of one of the pillars, a pair of eyes glaring out at him from behind it.

"My name is Steven." He crushed the rock in his palm and watched as those eyes widened. "Who are you?" He returned.

"I don't recognize your gem," The voice said instead.

Steven tipped his head, eyes narrowed. "Step into the light, where I can see you."

After a moment of silence that Steven assumed were of hesitance, a small form slowly edged out of the pillar's shadow and into the light of the stars. Steven's eyes widened, stunned.

"You're _pink_," He breathed. Interest swirled in his chest as he greedily examined the gem in front of him.

"So're you," The gem grumbled warily, but she didn't get it.

Steven had never seen another gem that was pink before. Red? Yes. Purple? Of course, because those were mostly Blue's anyhow. But pink? Never.

And she _was_ pink. Her hair was tufted fuschia, her skin was tinted carnation, and her gem was a dull gleam of hot pink. Her eyes shone an angry shade of rose, with streaks of black tattooed down the sides of her cheeks. Like tears.

Steven extended a hand and crooked two fingers in a 'come here' gesture. The gem hesitated again, then slowly inched her way forward. She stopped an arms length away from him. Steven dropped to one knee so they'd be closer in height. "What's your name?"

"Spinel." She said at length. "My name is Spinel."

"Spinel," Steven repeated, tone almost warm as he extended a hand and rested it, palm up, before her. "It's nice to meet you. What are you doing here, all by yourself? This place looks like it's been abandoned."

All of a sudden, Spinel jerked away from him, hugging herself and scowling and shouting, "Yeah, well, _so have I_!"

Steven huffed in confusion. Abandoned? Here? Gems weren't just abandoned. When the Empire no longer has a use for them, they either stopped existing or they ran. He had found many a gem on abandoned planets before, but never an abandoned gem.

"Who abandoned you, Spinel?" Steven prodded.

"Pink. Pink Diamond." Spinel wasn't looking at him, her odd arms wrapped around herself and her back to him, oblivious to his widened eyes. "I thought things were going so well. Every day was so much fun, or, I thought it was, anyway. But then she got a colony and...I guess she didn't want me to go with her. She got _tired_ of me. Outgrew me. _Left_ me here!" She shouted with a sob, small form trembling wretchedly as she crumpled to the ground.

"Why would she just leave you here?" Steven murmured, mostly to himself.

"I don't _know,_" Spinel snarled. "I wasn't good enough for her. I started to _annoy_ her. You don't stand still in one spot for over SIX THOUSAND YEARS and not at least FIGURE _THAT_ OUT!" She yelled, but the whirl of rage that she'd mustered up was ruined by a soft hiccup. She curled back in on herself.

Steven took a moment to process that. Over six thousand years in one place. One spot. Left here to apparently rot, by his own mother. It went against what the Crystal Gems had told him, what even the Diamonds had told him, but...

She was pink. She was lost. She was (six thousand years six thousand years six _thousand **years**_?) loyal. She was pretty. She had no other Diamond bias. She knew his mother.

Tilting his head, endlessly intrigued, Steven ventured forward and carefully drew Spinel into an embrace. Her breath hitched and she went rigid. "I'm so sorry that she did that to you. That was cruel of her." He felt Spinel collapse against him with a weak noise, limbs unspooling like pulled springs. "You could come with me. Get out of this place."

Spinel's hands clutched at his cape, flexing, and peeked up at him with a watery, narrowed eye. "What'sah catch?"

"It would depend on what your function was," Steven began slowly. He saw no point in lying. "So that we could determine how you could help with missions. But mostly, Spinel," He brushed his thumb underneath her eye to wipe away the tears gathering there. She squinted it shut with a sigh. "It would depend on what you want to do."

"What _I_ want to do?" Spinel echoed, then shook her head as the rest of what he'd said caught up. "My function? To entertain, to have fun, to play games--that sort of thing. Not that I did it all that well, if she still left me here," She muttered bitterly.

"I can work with that," Steven rumbled after a moment. He picked her up and she gasped. Her arms wound tightly around his waist, and he blinked at how far they were able to stretch. He'd never seen a gem that could do that. For most gems, shapeshifting was something that required lots of concentration and couldn't be held for a prolonged period of time. "So would you like to come with me, Spinel?"

She buried her face into his chest and nodded once, quickly, and he hummed. He tightened the arm he had around her waist and watched, pleased, as she stared in awe when shades of petal pink blossomed up around them and solidified into a bubble. He let it take them back up to the ship as he looked down at Spinel.

He cupped the side of her face with the hand that wasn't holding her up and gave her a small smile. "I think you'll love the ship."

Spinel smiled softly, wearily, back up at him, hope beginning to twinkle in her eyes.

She didn't need to know that Steven wouldn't have taken 'no' for an answer.


	2. Affection

Spinel settled in to life on the ship fairly easily, just as Steven thought she would. The only hurdle he had crossed so far, was when he had explained the entirety of what she had missed while in the Garden. There had been accusations thrown, _furniture_ thrown, and much crying. Steven finally wrested her down long enough to listen to him--that _no_, he was _not_ Pink Diamond, and _no_, he didn't want her to leave--and everything was calm again. 

The trip to their main base of operations took much longer than hunting down gem outposts did, as gem outposts were verifiably _everywhere_, and he had to keep the base hidden from the other Diamonds. It took at least two weeks to get there from any point in the Milky Way, because it was considered 'improper' for a Diamond to engage warp drive near an outpost. Which, as he'd said, were everywhere.

The good thing about the trip though, was that it gave Steven plenty of time to talk to Spinel. After the first time he'd embraced her in the Garden, she automatically latched onto him if he was more than five feet away from her at any point in time. Not that he minded, really--she was a fascinating conversation partner. Often times she would perch herself in his lap when he was at the control panel, and he would teach her which buttons were which and which nobs turned how and how the voice command worked. 

She was very entertained by food, which hadn't been imputed as something gems produced until the Diamonds had brought him to Homeworld. They'd tried their best to rid him of his human attributes (hence his eyes) but there was only so much they could do. He still needed to eat and he still needed to bathe, but other than that his human needs had been nixed. He could still sleep, of course, as all gems could, but he rarely ever indulged. 

But he had developed a rather large soft spot for the little pink gem he'd rescued. His pearl both hated and admired it.

On one hand, this was no doubt the gentlest she'd seen him, with anybody, and on the other, Spinel proved to be a very good distraction. Steven liked teaching her things, and she was an eager student most of the time. Five days after they'd left the Garden--

("We can always come back and clean it up. Restore it to its former glory. It could be a haven again." Steven suggested as they looked out over the Garden from above the atmosphere.

"No," Spinel had whispered, head ducked and arms crossed. "I don't ever wanna look at it again."

Steven had nodded. "If that's what you want, Spinel." He'd turned to his pearl. "Harvest what's left of the healthy plant life and store it in the Incubator. Then detonate what's left of the platform," he ordered.

"Yes, my Diamond."

And they had watched it **burn**.)

\--Steven was taking a shower, and a curious Spinel poked her head inside. He simply cocked an eyebrow at her and tipped his head back to rinse his mane of hair. "Hello Spinel."

"What're you doing?" She asked, brow creased in confusion.

"Taking a shower. It's to get clean. I'm half human, remember? That means I sweat and retain dirt in a way that gems don't. I'm made of flesh, not light."

"Is that why you aren't wearing any clothes?"

A chuckle rumbled out of Steven's chest. "Yes. Think of it like polishing, but for every part of the body."

That's how he'd explained to Lapis, after all, when she'd asked. Lars hadn't needed to ask, because his old human customs kept him out of bathing rooms when another person was in there. 

But Spinel only looked more confused. Hesitantly, she ventured, "Polishing?"

Oh. Oh dear.

When Steven's face fell blank once more, Spinel immediately backtracked. "I-I mean, uh, I _totally_ know what that--"

"_No_," Steven growled. "No." He shut off the water and fished for his robe. Drawing it over himself, he strode over to Spinel and picked her up. She yelped, alarmed in more ways than one, but didn't struggle as Steven carted her back out into his room. 

He set her on the bed and knelt in front of her, where he finally seemed to register Spinel's spooked expression. His anger dwindled and he sighed. Closing his eyes, he cupped his hand around the back of Spinel's neck and gently bumped their foreheads together. His other hand came up to thumb over the sharp edges of Spinel's heart. 

"How much has she neglected you?" He murmured, pained. Spinel didn't say anything. Steven opened his eyes and stood, walking over to his dresser and pulling a box out of the top drawer.

He came back over and knelt before Spinel again, not bothering with his clothes for the time being. This was more important. 

Spinel watched him with wary interest as he flipped open the box and pulled out two white squares. Steven unfolded the first one, then flicked a lid off the second. He set both on the bed beside her legs and took a moment to curl his fingers over her cheek. "You don't mind, do you? If you've never had this done for you, I would like to do it. But only if you let me."

There was another long moment of hesitance in which Spinel's eyes flicked above him and hastily back down to his eyes. Steven blinked water out of his eyes and sighed. He brought the tangled, sopping curls of his hair around his shoulder and Spinel jolted. 

"I know this can be a bit frightening to see. Especially these," He stroked the shards idly as he continued. "But I keep them here because this is the only place I can keep them safe. The fight we fight is long and dangerous, and everyone I think can be swayed or healed is here." He squeezed his hair and twisted it in his palms. Water splattered onto the floor and was instantly erased by the panel flipping itself over. 

"But I'm not going to put you there, Spinel."

_Not unless you make me_, he didn't say.

Spinel swallowed hard, then resolutely looked away from his mane of hair and nodded. "Okay. You can...do whatever it is."

Steven smiled. He leaned forward and planted a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you."

With that, he took up the second box and dipped two fingers into it. He smoothed the gel over her gem, an even coat from top to bottom, and pressed another dollop directly at the center. Spinel shivered. Steven hummed quietly as he picked up the cloth and began to meticulously wipe down the fine edges and planes of Spinel's gem. He should have known when he first saw it that she had never been polished. She'd been so dull and splotched, but he had assumed that it was just an after effect of six thousand years of isolation. But for her to never have experienced it? No wonder she clung to him.

Spinel let out a breath as Steven rubbed the gel into her gem, warmth beginning to tingle out from beneath it and into her chest until her entire body felt loose and relaxed. Were she a cat, she would've purred. 

Steven chuckled at her and wiped down the vestiges of neglect from the center and sides of her gem. When the gel had been wiped away, he flipped the cloth and began to run over it one last time, just for a final touch. It sparkled and shone, a brighter pink than it had ever been, and Steven felt a deep sense of satisfaction looking at it. From the way Spinel was leaning on him, eyes closed in bliss, he could tell she felt it too.

He packed the cloth and gel away, but left the box on his bed as he stood to sit on the bed as well. Somehow, someway, they ended lying down on the barely used surface, curled together, and just like that, Steven felt sleep take him involuntarily for the first time in twelve years.

·🌺·

When Steven woke up, Spinel was awake as well, staring up at him with big eyes and her limbs wrapped like vines around his torso and down one of his legs. Steven didn't do much about it, as it didn't hurt and didn't stop him from sitting up. He petted a hand down the side of her face, humming when she closed her eyes and pushed up into it.

"Hello, Spinel. Did you sleep too?"

"I think I did," Spinel replied haltingly, unsure, and Steven realized that she hadn't ever slept before either. However, it wasn't as bad a transgression as never having been properly polished, so Steven decided to let it go.

"Did you dream?" Steven rumbled, curious. His hair has dried now, more of a mess than usual as he had let it dry naturally.

"I think so. I had visions of rescuing me, but this time you had pink hair and a balloon sword," Spinel muttered, brow furrowed in bewilderment. 

Steven laughed at the image and she blushed, ducking down to hide beneath her own arms. He sat up all the way and tugged on one of her ponytails. "Dreams are weird like that. Nothing to be embarrassed about."

As gravity shifted, Spinel tilted her head and peeked up at him. Then glanced down, and then back up. "What's that?"

"That happens sometimes," Steven sighed as he stood up. Spinel tightened her grip on him as he readjusted his robe. "It's uncomfortable but it goes away." He walked over to his dresser with Spinel still tangled around him, pulling out his clothes. 

"But what is it?" Spinel prodded.

"I'm not entirely sure. Lars knows, but he refuses to tell me. He gets all red when I ask." Steven tugged at Spinel's ponytail again. "A human thing, probably. Are you going to let go of me so I can get dressed?"

Spinel buried her face into his chest once more. "I don't wanna," she whined, muffled. "It feels like you're gonna leave if I let go."

Steven sighed and cupped the back of her head, thinking. "Here. Why don't you hold onto my hand, and switch when I need to pull the sleeves through."

Spinel didn't answer for a moment. But after a few minutes of contemplative clinging, she unwound herself from Steven's stomach and set herself back on the ground, hand interlocked with his. Steven rubbed his thumb across her creased brow, murmured, "Very good." and tugged on his top. When he got his right arm through, he offered it to Spinel as a replacement for his left one. She exchanged hands with little fuss, looking up at him with wide eyes. When pulled on his pants and boots, she spoke up.

"You're built a lot different from other gems."

"It's because I'm half human. Or, more like a third human, at this point," he grumbled. He swung his cape across his shoulders and shook out his hair. "I'm also what Lars calls 'male', which is apparently very different to what most gems are." Steven paused for a moment, dipped his head, and smirked. "Save for my old Jasper, who preferred to be called a he. Yellow didn't take that too well. The left Rutile twin also likes to be referred to as male. Fluorite prefers neither and insists on they. It's a purely human concept, but some gems take to it. The Diamonds don't appreciate it."

"Was the Jasper built like you too?" Spinel asked, intrigued by the concept.

"No. He was built just like every other Jasper. But when he went to Earth with me and met with the concept, he took to it like a fish to water. It's just who he was. He even brought himself back like me after he'd been damaged, once."

Spinel tipped her head. "He's not anymore?"

Steven's expression darkened, and he glared up at the ceiling for a moment. "No. Unfortunately, I highly doubt they let him stay like that."

Raising her eyebrows, Spinel ventured, "But they let you stay like that?"

"I was born like this, and I can't be damaged like a regular gem can. They had no choice but to leave me alone about it after the fifth time they almost killed me." He answered casually as he strapped on his sword.

There was a beat of thick silence, and then Spinel had abruptly attached herself back to his torso, one of her legs spiralling down his right one just like she'd had it before. Steven huffed in surprise, but he was no less mobile than before. Besides, he liked having her so close. He felt a sense of...almost _kinship_, with her. One of a kind. Pink. Abandoned by his mother. These things they had in common spelled destiny out to him in a way that nothing else did. Steven didn't believe in destiny. But he might just be starting to believe in Spinel.

Steven twirled his fingers in her hair again--it had curled somewhat overnight, still wild and tufted, but softer now--and smiled. "I have to recalibrate the ship's course for the base for the next twelve hours, but afterwards, would you like to see something from Earth?"

Strawberry eyes peered up at him with bright interest. Spinel nodded quickly. "Yes please."

"Wonderful," Steven mused as he left his room. He made his way to the control room and found his pearl there, the screens up already. She glanced up at him, then at Spinel. Her nose wrinkled and she turned away in a huff. Steven valiantly ignored her. "Do you remember what I showed you yesterday, about how the board works?" He asked as he sat carefully down in his chair, so as not to squish her.

"Uh huh," Spinel chirped excitedly as she rapidly unwound her arms from around his waist. She left her leg though. She clapped her hands together and began to wiggle impatiently in place. "Can I do the thing? I wanna do the thing! Please let me do the thing," she pleaded.

Another laugh shook Steven's chest, and he felt almost _fond_. He'd been doing a lot more laughing lately, because of Spinel. He liked it. He nodded, eyes half lidded as he leaned back in his chair. "You can do the thing."

Spinel sucked in a happy breath and quickly leaned over the control panel to bring up the maintenance screen. Her tongue poked out of the side of her mouth and she hummed in concentration as she tried to remember which buttons were which. He'd taught her well, because she had it up and running diagnostics in less than a minute. 

When she leaned back again and beamed up at him, proud of herself, he leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. "Good girl," He murmured into her skin. When he pulled away, her hands had clasped to her cheeks her complexion was flushed.

"Aw, g-gee," She stuttered, looking away as her color deepened. "Thanks."

It made something hot snarl to life to Steven's abdomen. He wanted to press her against the control panel, set his teeth to her skin and...do what, he wasn't entirely sure.

Steven ignored the sudden urge to press down and _bite_, and instead set about recalibrating their course. It didn't take long, of course, and he really only had to recalibrate it once every forty-eight hours, but he had violet eyes boring into the back of his head the entire time. It made his skin crawl, agitated.

"Pearl," He barked at last. Something cflattered in the background; she'd dropped something. He glanced over his shoulder to see her scrambling into a sloppy salute.

"Y-Yes, my--"

"Go down to the Incubator and see how the plants are doing. Make sure the vines don't get out of hand and those flowers don't die," He ordered sharply. "In short, _go be useful_."

She didn't even reply. She just fled the cockpit as quickly as possible, frightened. For good reason, of course. She'd been in his service long enough to see him shatter gems who tested his patience or tried to push him too far. Blue had given her to him as a precaution a year ago, so she'd been around long enough to know when she could get away with sass and when she could _not_. 

Steven watched her flee with a vicious sort of satisfaction, only turning back when the doors slid shut behind her. Spinel was gazing up at him curiously, head cocked slightly to the side in silent question. But she didn't ask, and Steven didn't answer. After a moment, she seemed to come to her own conclusions. Her eyes flickered with something dark, and then she coiled herself back around him, head pushed up under his chin like a happy pet. "Can I see the plants later?"

Jaw clenching and tilting to accommodate her, Steven huffed. "If you want to, when Pearl is done with them."

If possible, Spinel seemed even more pleased. She grinned, blinding and white, at him through the reflection of the glass in front of them.

"Perfect."


	3. Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sapph is an absolute peach and helped me with the lyrics to their duet!!! GO LOVE!!!

"You said you had something you wanted to show me? Yanno, after you finished with the calibrations?" Spinel prodded when Steven finally stood from his seat and stretched.

"I did," He agreed with an indulgent smile. He held out a hand and Spinel's arms automatically coiled around it. "Come. This way."

She bopped her head along as they walked, humming the familiar tune that Steven always found himself humming in spare, absent moments. She was already so receptive, Steven noted. A little more effort on his part and she would be his greatest asset. Unendingly loyal, unshakably faithful, taking everything that fell from his mouth as Godsend. A training session or two, and Spinel'd make a formidable soldier.

Steven's lips pursed in displeasure at the thought. It left a bad taste in his mouth. He didn't like it, so he discarded it.

Not a soldier then. Spinel was much too precious for that. But what then? Not a soldier, but a--

Spinel gasped and jerked Steven out of his reverie with a jolt. She began to hop around excitedly, still attached to his arm, and pointed. "Oh! What's that? It looks like you."

Steven huffed softly under his breath and nodded. "So it does."

An iridescent marble door sheened in pink stared down at them with the hardened eyes of his mother. Rose Quartz.

With her tangled mane of hair, sword and shield, and broad build, she did resemble him. Pearl's words echoed through his head, clear blue eyes wide and watery. _"Oh, you look just like her."_ It was easy to mistake his paintings and memorials for hers. At least, on Earth it had been. Before he'd stolen everything left of her and ran off with it before Yellow blew the planet to bits.

But, Steven realized with a start, that was not what Spinel had said. She'd blurted out that Rose Quartz looked like _him_. Not the other way around. That hungry feeling he'd felt earlier curled back in his stomach, warm and hollow, and Steven's fingers twitched. He courted it idly, curious, but was distracted by Spinel tugging on his arm again. "_Is_ it you?"

"No," Steven answered at length. He made his way forward at a leisurely pace as he explained. "Do you remember what I told you when you first arrived, Spinel? About my mother?" Steven regretted the words almost as soon as they escaped, because Spinel's expressive ponytails drooped miserably at the reminder. That curl of starvation in Steven's abdomen twisted and soured.

"...Yes."

"Spinel, look at me." 

Her ponytails--like the ears of those canine creatures Lars insisted on saving from Earth--fluffed up for a moment, alarmed, then immediately flattened back down. She hesitated for a moment, but ultimately peeked up at Steven through her lashes. Steven cupped her chin and tugged her face up further so he could see her expression clearly. He brushed his thumb along the darkened lines of black tattooed on her cheeks. "What she did to you was unforgivable, I won't deny that. But she was my mother. I am not her. I will not abandon you or leave you to rot. You're safe here with me. Understand?"

Her jaw trembled in his grasp and her eyes took on a watery sheen. She buried her face into his chest and nodded. A shaky breath puffed against his ribs, and she relaxed minutely. "Okay."

Steven hummed and stroked his knuckles along the back of her neck. "Good. Now," He halted for a moment as she wound her legs around his so she didn't have to walk before continuing to push the door open. 

To him, the room was nothing new. It had been three years since the destruction of Earth, so Steven'd had a lot of time to come sit in this room and drink it in. The pale wooden floorboards and mahogany wall panels washed warm in the artificial light, faded support beams overhead that laid level with the upper floor of the stair in the corner. Dark wooded bookshelves stuffed full of thick tomes and knickknacks lined either side of the upper floor, folding into the third wall just enough to stop before they covered the window there. Satiny fabrics and crimson cushions were piled onto the floor in lieu of a carpet. The immediate floor was more spacious, three times the size of the upper floor, and it housed a great many things that cluttered the corners , such as the tattered pink flag leaned against the far wall, next to a gilded, locked chest. 

Several strips of fabric in varying colors, many with yellow stars in the center, were tossed about the room, one strewn over a stuffed version of some sort of chubby avian, a few more piled stop a black box made of glass and plastic and metal, and one other--this one proudly proclaiming '_MR. UNIVERSE_' in blue and red--hung up lovingly by the door on the other side of the room. 

But none of that was what Steven wanted to show Spinel. There, in the thin shadow cast by the upper floor, sat a sleek black piano with carvings of pale pink roses etched along its sides.

Steven felt Spinel unspool from his torso in shock, and he smiled faintly. While she took everything in, he swept forward and laid a hand on the sleek top of the piano. Smudges of yellow light glittered on top of if, eared reflections of the odd star shaped lights hung from the rafters. He glanced back at Spinel, who was still gazing around the room in wonder, only to see her eyes stop on the flag in the corner. He sat himself before the piano and rested his fingers on the keys, but didn't press down just yet.

"This was the house she lived in on Earth," Steven murmured as he glanced up at Spinel through his lashes. He pressed down a single key, and the shrill note jolted Spinel from her daze. Her gaze snapped back over to him, and she slowly made her way towards the piano, eyes wide. "I gather up all the remnants of it and brought them here to rebuild it. Of course, some bits had to be replaced, but now I use it as a sort of storage room." He pressed another key, then another. "It's cathartic."

"So all of this is," Spinel swallowed. "Her stuff?" She ran a hand across the etchings on the piano, solemn.

"It was," Steven drawled. He looked up and caught Spinel's gaze, held it. His lips quirked up slightly, eyes half-lidded. "It's all mine now."

There was a moment of silence where they simply looked at one another, enraptured.

Steven broke it by turning his gaze back to the piano keys and starting up a soft, tinkling [melody](https://m.soundcloud.com/angel-darkness-697018432/levins-music-box-mp3). He played the first stanza twice, and then, on the third one, Spinel's voice floated to him from the other side of the seat. 

"_Oh, who am I?_

_Oh, who am I?_

_Oh, who am I, now?_

_Now that _

_I've been_

_Released from_

_My vow?_"

Steven tilted his head and diverged from the first stanza to the next, a slower beat. His voice joined it, and Spinel blinked up at him from where she was staring, sullen, down at the piano keys. 

"**But you're here now**

**You're not alone**

**So you're here now**

**You're here with me**."

Spinel plopped down beside him on the bench and crossed her arms. She scoffed and cut back over him, hugging herself.

"_And we're here how?_

_I feel alone._"

"**You're not alone**."

"_I feel alone_."

"**You're not alone**

**Don’t worry, my dear, my dear**

**For I am here, yes, I am here**

**You are mine**

**Just give it time**

**And we will be fine**

**Just wait for me**

**And you'll be free.**"

Steven trilled the melody to an end, and Spinel let out a shaky, stunned breath. She squeezed her eyes shut and turned her face into Steven's shoulder, her tears smearing along the fluffy sleeve of his shirt. He lifted a hand to delicately cup the back of her head. He shushed her and pressed his lips to the crown of her hair. "Hush, precious. I've got you," He cooed. He pulled her against his chest and kissed the tears off her scarred cheeks. They tasted like ash. Steven purred. "I've got you." 

•🌺•

That night, when Spinel was curled up with Steven again in his bed--he hadn't given her a room of her own yet, and she was secretly hoping he wouldn't--she watched the rise and fall of his chest in the low light and pondered the ache in her chest. She realized, then, that Steven was very different to Pink. Spinel had known that already, of course she had, but she was just starting to notice that while Steven didn't fill that Pink shaped hole in her heart, he was carving out a place all his own in it. And maybe it should've scared her that it was much, much bigger than Pink's, but...it didn't.

Instead of terror, she felt a pleasant ache in her chest, a buzz in her mouth, and a giddy joy that shook through her limbs as she arched herself closer to Steven, like a cat. Yeah, Steven most likely wasn't good for her. 

But she didn't care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Narrator voice* See this piano? Pay close attention to that piano. You'll see the piano again later ;)


End file.
